come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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