Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
