he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
