I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
