THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
