Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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