I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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