how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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