Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
