she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
