I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
