if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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