K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
