Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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