So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
