dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
