I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
