Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
