i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
