Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
