Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
