dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
