we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
