Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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