I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
smell my finger.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
