She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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