I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
love makes seman taste better
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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