I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
