what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
