Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
