i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
