im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
