Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
my phone needs a breathalizer
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
