that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
