It's Friday. Sex?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
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