Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
