watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
