Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
FUCK WHALES
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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