I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Farmville is her only friend.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
