walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
