So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
