Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
im six kinds of drunk right now
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
