I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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