He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
