I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Randomize
