Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
