if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My balls are so social today.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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