office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
