If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
