aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
