Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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