My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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