it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
honey bunches of taint.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
