Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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