Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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