Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
