Do you still have your period?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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