I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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