and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
