But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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