just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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