remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
