Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
