My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
