Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
