is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
