once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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