i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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