i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I need help removing her.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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