you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
