You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
